Touch (Reiner X Reader)

You watched quietly through shy (e/c) orbs as your fellow Cadets sparred vigorously, some slackers lingering around the corners but those struggling for the top 10 positions showing a clear passion. A loud thud catching your attention as you noticed Eren on the floor with his legs over his head, soon followed by Reiner as Annie walked away. A small laugh leaving your lips causing both of them to glancing your way almost surprised at a sound escaping your shy mouth, you looked away quickly hiding behind your (h/l) (h/c) hair remembering your purposeful isolation.

“Don’t worry (Name), I have been informed of your situation and you are allowed to instruct or watch instead of sparring from now on.” The drill general spoke after having yelled at you in front of the whole training group for stating you could not participated, cautiously patting your shoulder as he walked away screaming at Sasha for the food in her mouth. Your body went stiff at the contact as darkness hid your face, your fists clenching tightly as you forced your body not to shake. It was no use; you turned to leave quickly making your way to the end of the sparring grounds.

“(Name)! Come spar with me if you can watch laughing in a corner” Reiner called but you continued, ignoring him, you had to get away from them all.
“(Name)!!” Reiner sulked, in an obviously playful manner, his first time having spoken directly to you grabbing your shoulder seeming to think you were slacking. Your body took over at the second contact in those few minutes, (e/c) orbs clouding over as you grabbed his wrist violently pulling it forward kicking your leg backward into him to propel him over you. With ease the large bulky blonde was flipped over your petite body, landing on his back with his mouth open in shock as you released his wrist.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” You shouted as you fulfilled the action of inhuman strength, the whole sparring field going silent in shock at the usually silent girl suddenly flipping over the monstrous boy as if it was nothing. You shook, running off of the training fields and into the forest your clouded eyes finally clearing as sense returned and tears filled your eyes. Again, you had almost hurt someone again, luckily not fatally this time. You sat there in the forest, your face buried into your knee’s as you suppressed the shaking, the fear, the anger. All of it that had been evoked by a simple touch.

“Hey.” A monotone voice called as your head shot up to see Annie watching you with emotionless eyes; you backed away into a corner.
“Don’t worry I won’t touch you, I just want to know how to did that.” Annie hummed taking a seat slightly away from you as you watched her cautiously with a small nod. Calming in her almost cold presence.
“O-oh sure...” You spoke, your quiet voice reaching her as she turned towards you as you explained how to flip someone Reiner’s size without even using his momentum against him.
“I-I’m sure you will be strong e-enough to do it if you can flips them with a kick.” You quickly finished as she hummed in acknowledgement. You jumped slightly as she stood, walking away back towards the training HQ.

“Aren’t you coming back?” Annie called over her shoulder.
“I-i think I will stay here a bit longer.” You muttered, not knowing how you would face everyone after what you did. Not that you spoke to any of them but you could imagine their stares.
“Here, you will miss dinner at this rate.” Annie threw you a small loaf of bread over her shoulder with a small wave, surprised expression escaping.
“Think of it as payment for the technique.” She spoke again, disappearing into the tree’s as you smiled to yourself. You had spoken to someone; she hadn’t pushed or asked why you did what you did. Even if she was only interested in learning to benefit herself it still made you happy.


-Time skip –


You sat out in the forest, consuming the bread with ease as your body had fully calmed a tiredness consuming you due to exhaustion through worry. You leant your head on the tree behind you, closing your eyes as you drifted into an unpleasant dream.


-Dream–

A hand reached out to you from the darkness to grab you, if you were caught you would be hurt, you would be punished. You didn’t want, no, you couldn’t bear the pain brought with these punishments anymore. This harsh upbringing that had formed your fears. If you were touched, if you were caught you would be punished. If you spoke without being spoken to, you would be punished. If you didn’t fight for your life, you would be punished, you would die. The hand finally grabbed you, wrapping across your mouth as you stifled a scream, pushing back with all your might as the grip loosened you turned throwing your capture down. A sickening crack ringing as they hit the floor harshly, their small body shaking as the light came up to illuminate their face, blood pooling from the back of their head. It was your friend, the friend who had saved you from those who punished you. Your friend who once touching you became cursed to die at your hands.

-Dream end –


Your eyes shot open as a shadowed faces breath tickled your skin, your body reacting on instinct as you threw the person down. Pinning them down slamming your fist into their cheek posed to continue if they acted as you eyes watered in fear, your heart pounding over any logic.
“(Name), (Name) it’s me, it’s Reiner.” You made out over your own heart beat, the moon light breaking through the trees illuminating his now bruised face. Tears fell from your shadowed eyes onto him as flashes of your past friends face as the blood flowed from them flashing through your mind.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You hiccupped, pushing the palm of your hands into each socket as you tried to force away the image, apologise to both your past and Reiner for what you did. What your body had learn to do automatically from a childhood of torture. Reiner moved beneath you, sitting up on his elbows watching you with sad eyes as you sobbed, hiding your distraught face as you cried out all the tears you had kept in for so long. Your isolation, your past, your future, your life stained by these hidden tears. More painful than the hidden scars across your body.

“(Name).” Reiner called trying to calm you without a comforting touch with may set you off, you leant forward into his chest crying. Not caring, just needing the touch you had been deprived off since birth. Slowly Reiner wrapped his arms around you to ensure you wouldn’t hit him again for the movement, jumping slightly as he felt the indents of wounded skin across your back. A sad sigh of understanding radiating from him as he held you while you cried into him.

“It’s okay now (Name).” Reiner whispered to you as your tears had finally stopped, head still leant into his chest as your breath finally calmed. You jumped slightly at his words, pushing out of his arms as a redness took over your face, no one had hugged you before, you hadn’t been held so carefully or looked at so gently.
“A-ah, sorry for earlier... and your face...and just now.” You muttered hiding behind your hair as you jumped off of him realising he was still sitting beneath you.

Reiner sat up a slight blush touching his cheeks as he smiled his usually cheeky grin at you trying to lighten the mood as a small hiccup of sadness still escaped you.
“It’s fine, I deserved it for grabbing you like that as well as startling you. I just wanted to make sure you were ok.” He rubbed the back of his blonde hair, his copper eyes smiling at you as you nodded in acceptance of his words.
“Everyone back at HQ was really surprised; they all want to talk to you.” He grinned as you looked up, surprised pushing back against the tree slightly a small sliver of fear creeping in again.

“Don’t worry I will be there.” He chirped as he stood up, looking at the ground seeming embarrassed.
“W-what do I do when they talk to me?” You finally spoke in your quiet tone, Reiner’s cheeks flushing further at your soft voice. He had been quiet taken by you since the first day he saw you, however your quiet demeanour and clear avoidance of everyone made you basically impossible to approach. When you had flipped him over your shoulder instead of anger or even annoyance he was even more taken by you, a different side of you shown to him.
“You reply?” He sighed with a small laugh. You breath becoming slightly shallow as you debated it, finally nodding with a conviction to yourself you had to move over the past. This was your chance.

“O-okay lets go.” You lets slip a small smile showing your face fully from behind your hair as Reiner’s eyes widened. You took a step to leave before Reiner’s voice caught your attention once again.
“(Name) w-would it be okay... if I touched you again and held your hand?” He whispered, you froze slightly a panic setting in as you slowly nodded before he took your small hand in his large strong one leading you back through the forest. His hands, his touch were the only one of safety you knew. The only one you wanted to know this way.

-Bonus Ending-

Reiner opened to door into the mess hall where everyone was still talking despite dinner being over for a good few hours, a silence setting in as you entered behind the tall boy. Your hand gripped his tighter in fear as they all watched you.
“(Name!)” A few voiced called as many of your fellow Cadets got out of their seats and rushed over to you, you jumped slightly pulling to leave as you pushed against the door at the oncoming crowd.

“(Name) how did you do that to Reiner earlier it was so cool!” Voices called with similar compliments as you hid from the almost admiring stares fear almost swallowing you again before you were pulled back by Reiner stepping in-between you and the group of people. A squeeze of your hand along with a gentle smile bringing you back from the clouded darkness that threatened to take you once again.

“Step back everyone, she doesn’t like people being to close or touching her.” Reiner boomed as people took a step back surprised at the defensiveness in his voice, you caught Annie looking over at you with what you could swear was almost a smile.
“How come you’re touching her then Reiner?” Someone piped up, you pulled on your confidence looking up from behind your hair out into the small crowd your (e/c) eyes shining slightly as you felt Reiner’s rough hand around yours. Safety. You reminded yourself, I’m safe, I can speak, I can laugh, I can talk as long as I’m with him. As long as I’m safe. Those at the front seeming surprised as they caught a glimpse of your open and smiling face, Reiner’s face flushing slightly at the beauty of your smiling face.

“How do you think he got that swollen cheek?” You laughed. You were free at his touch.